"Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. And do this, understanding the present time. The hour has come for you to wake-up from your slumber because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed." --Romans 13: 8-14

"Be wise in the way you act towards outsiders; make the most of every opportunity." --Colossians 4:5

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good." --Romans 12:9

"...if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have no love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." --1 Corinthians 13: 1-8.5

"A new command I give you; Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." --John 13: 34-35

Love trumps EVERYTHING!

Sorry for not loving enough.......

I am only here, by myself. Where is everyone that is supposed to love you through anything, even when you screw up and push everyone away? I still love everyone. I don’t mean “like”, but I love those who I have left behind. I feel emotions so deeply it is hard for me to understand what their impact is on me or how to deal with them, completely.

I don’t leave people behind because I want to or because of my illness. I leave people behind because I don’t want them to suffer because they are close to me. I go so up and down and so in and out of death. Why would I ever put anyone through all of that?

I have distant relationships with people who feel sorry for me, but even those I want to severe because if I ever do wind-up giving into my disorder, I don’t want anyone crying over me like I cried over my grandmother. I still can’t think of her without crying or it bringing a tear to my eye.

I am sorry, though. I am sorry for pushing everyone away. It was my own darn fault. But I just can’t seem to live with my decision…